Foot Fetishist Creates Lifelike Dessert

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BELLINGHAM, WASHINGTON

They look like feet. They smell like feet. They even taste like feet. But for confectionary chef James P. Preston, 32, they are mostly sugar, flour, and a few secret ingredients he wont divulge.

“I wanted to create a treat for foot fetishists out there,” Preston told The Daily Flogger. “There is really nothing out there for those of us who adore feet, well, other than feet, which I guess there are rather a lot of. But still, this is something different.”

The initial confection was sweet and had a hint of vanilla, but sales of his “candied feet” were slow and not terribly profitable.

“When I switched to actual foot scented products my sales skyrocketed. Now a guy can spend a evening with my foot confections and not have to worry about creeping someone out or having to talk to them or interact at all,” Preston said.

Grey Guston, 48, one of Preston’s customers described the new foodstuffs as a “godsend.”  “He is a genius and his creations are amazing.  I never even have to leave the house anymore other than to come to his shop.  A bottle of wine and a feet of his foot confections and I am good to go for days.”

Other customers find the addition of feet to the bakery less positive.

“It is a little odd, I suppose,” says long time customer Gretchen Mossberg, 58, “But I love sucking the creme out of his cannoli, so who am I to judge?”

Photo credit: Come As You Are

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