High Protocol Dinner Marred by “Flavorless Tart”

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GREENWICH, FLORIDA

In what is being described as a “colossal failure” and an “epic faux pas,” slave Donna Kelperman, 22, mistakenly left both sugar and fruit out of her dessert tart, to be served at the finale of this year’s Gentleman Who Feast annual high protocol dinner.

The meal which consisted of 7 courses, each served by naked, collared female slaves, has been the highlight of the small town’s BDSM scene for more than a decade. That is until last night.

“The dessert is everything,” said Master Kip Yorkle, a regular attendee at the event, “and it is the last thing you remember about the night. All I will remember is biting into a flaky pastry shell that tasted like flour and ass.”

Master David Gumple was even more harsh in his assessment, speaking of a “violation of a sacred trust.” For Gumple, “dessert represents service, submission, and something sweet and delicious. If it isn’t sweet and delicious, then how can there be service or submission?”

Others were more charitable, but all were in agreement that the tart was, indeed, “flavorless at best.”

Kelperman, who is not expected to be invited back to next year’s event, tried to remain philosophical about it. “It’s just dessert and it wasn’t really that bad. If they really were gentleman, they would have politely eaten the tart and not made such a big deal about it.”

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