Man Discovers Polyamory, Instantly Becomes “Relationship Expert”

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UGUER, KANSAS

Devin McCarthy, 29, attended his first poly group meeting that the Uguer Community Center last Friday and says it “completely changed his life.”

According to McCarthy, becoming polyamorous (in romantic or sexual relations with more than one person) not only gives you insight into your own love life and dynamics, it also makes you an expert on everyone else’s.

“What I learned in group is that monogamy is unnatural and that is why so many people are unhappy.  They aren’t being their authentic selves or living their lives the way I do,” McCarthy said.

“I am really happy now that I have discovered I am meant to live my life according to the basic principle that I can fuck whoever I want, whenever I want.”

Kristen Bunn, McCarthy’s long time partner, was less enthusiastic about his new insight.  “Devin and I have come to an agreement.  We are going to remain monogamous, but he is going to use his new insights to tell everyone else how to run their lives.”

McCarthy has accepted the compromise.  “Being with Kristen is really important to me, but so is poly.  But now I can tell everyone else what they should be doing, which is almost as good as fucking.”

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