New 50 Shades Book: EL James Releases “Red”

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READING, WISCONSIN

On the heels of her followup to the 50 Shades trilogy, Grey, EL James’ retelling of the story from protagonist Christian Grey’s point of view, the novelist has announced a new book:  Red.

Playing off the color theme, James explained that the new novel is the 50 Shades saga told entire from the point of view of the red room of pain.  “I thought it would be fun to use an inanimate object as a narrator.  I mean, my characters are already described as one dimensional, lifeless and wooden, so I thought, what if I told the story from the perspective of something that was actually lacked dimension, was lifeless, and mostly made of wood?”

Like the novel’s heroine, the red room is not entirely comfortable with some of the things going on in the relationship, but because it too is dominated by Christian Grey and his wealth, there is really nothing the room can do about it.

Protests have already erupted, accusing the author of celebrating “victimization” of architecture, as well as consent violations.

“Rooms can’t consent,” one protestor told The Daily Flogger.  “BDSM isn’t about rooms or furniture.  It is about, well, it is about something else.  Something consensual.”

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