Sen. Jim DeMint Shocked to Discover Rob Halford “Gay Leatherman”

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CLEMSON, SOUTH CAROLINA

Conservative Former Senator Jim DeMint is reportedly “shocked and saddened” to learn that Judas Priest frontman and hard core heavy metal rocker Rob Halford is both gay and a leatherman.

“I always thought he was just rocking out,” DeMint told The Daily Flogger in a phone interview.  “Before we would vote on an important piece of legislation or when we had a big debate about how to ban abortion or stop science from ruining our schools I would blast Living After Midnight or Painkiller.”

Now, for DeMint, it is all tainted.  Known for his staunch conservative views, the former lawmaker always thought Halford was just a “badass rocker” and never considered that all the leather, whips, and chains was a symbol of his sexuality.

Ken Malcheck, art and music critic for the SF Weekly found the denial implausible.  “Halford has been dressing like a Tom of Finland drawing for 30 years, plus he came out very publicly as a gay man in like 1998.  It doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the music anymore.”

DeMint disagreed.  “It ruins it for me.  I’ll never be able to see the band as anything other than a gay leather experience.  And that is something I can’t abide.  Hot men, dressed in leather, flexing and growling and throwing another man down and savagely violating him, while his victim protests and tries to get away, but he’s just too strong and takes him right then and there, leaving him a sweaty, broken mess.  Disgusting!”

The former Senator now leads the Heritage Foundation, a conservative think tank, and told The Daily Flogger, he is “no longer a Priest fan.”  Instead, his pre-meeting ritual has changed.  “I get pumped up for policy discussions now with my other favorite band, Queen.”

Photo credit: Gage Skidmore cc: by sa

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