Submissive Women Create Diabetes Epidemic

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JASPER, COLORADO

Incidents of Type 2 Diabetes have skyrocketed in the Jasper, CO BDSM community after a group of hot women has started indulging their new fetish of “whipped creme, hot fudge, and chocolate saucing,” according to local dominant Master Jinx, 47.  The fetish involves the women covering their bodies in dessert toppings and having dominant men lick them clean.

The group responsible “CoGoD” or the “Colorado Girls of Dessert,” describe their fetish as “sweet and naughty” and love the attention they are getting from the local BDSM community.

According to Professor Tim Leaky, a specialist on the unintended effect of new fads and fashions, it isn’t surprising to see such side effects.  “We’ve seen this happen all over the country.  From munches at fast food restaurants to new trends in food play, dominants are eating worse, exercising less, and licking whipped creme off of women’s stomachs.  It isn’t surprising that they are feeling the effects of bad culinary choices.”

What seemed like harmless dungeon fun has promoted the American Diabetes Association to call for a nationwide ban on the practice and to call the Colorado Girls of Dessert, “nothing but a bunch of attention whores.”

“It isn’t a fetish,” said Yalin Ross, spokespersons for the ADA, “it is a public health crisis.  It needs to stop.”

Slave kimberly, president of the CoGoD, said there are no plans to stop the new dungeon trend and when told about the ADA campaign to ban such activities, she simply said “whatever.”

Photo credit: Austin Appel  CC: NC SA

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