World’s Worst Kinky Site To Close This Year?

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GLENDALE, IOWA

You can almost feel the shockwaves ripple through the local kink community. Almost. If only there were a shockwave. After a decade of podcasting, not-vanilla-people.net.radio.com is rumored to be closing the doors on all its varied operations. Local and national reactions have been varied to say the least.

One prominent kink leader was saddened to hear of the imminent demise. “We’ve all seen this coming for the last few years, but it’s going to sting not having my home away from home” stated Master Blackheart of Seattle.

Others were more realistic. “ Seriously, it’s about time someone put a stop to this nonsense” said RainbowBunniFloss, a Grand Rapids submissive and Little. “ I mean, the programming was mediocre at best, and I was thinking of canceling my subscription anyhoo”.

Originally created in 2003, the website and broadcaster broke new ground with their mix of short interviews, long interviews, incessant rambling and interviews punctuated by incessant rambling. In 2005, they mixed things upwith a variety of programs and online ‘bdsm celebrities’.

Once promoted, albeit grandiosely, as “the new MySpace”, N-V-P.net.radio.com never reached those dizzying heights of popularity. With a total of 23 registered listeners, and a weekly total of 40-50 guest listeners, profitability was never a topic of discussion.

Reached for comment, founder and CEO Mistress Mandy simply stated “We will re-launch in a few weeks. We’re going to be the new MySpace”. When I pointed out that MySpace was relegated to the backwaters of the internet, and perhaps there were other loftier goals to set, she replied “Yes, we are getting the twitterish app installed and snapshooting, or something like that. Look out MySpace! We’re coming for you!”

Mistress Mandy gave me a list of future shows on the revamped site:

  • Kinkillalicious: Vanilla people talking kinky. Your host, Mistress Mandy
  • Whats This?: Kinky Game Show. Contestants try to identify used toys by smelling them. Your host, Sir Rik.
  • Whisky and Whores : A show for manly men. Your host, Dick Clavier.
  • Ass Up-Face Down: Call-in show for submissives. Your host, Dodgyb Devlin.
  • Cuntface & Porgie: Animated show about an M/s household, and the wacky adventures that ensue.

Asked for one final statement that might make the re-launch appeal to a wider audience or any audience at all, she said: “Tell your readers that we are the new MySpace. That we are reaching out to each kinky person each day, so that vanilla people will not feel so bad about the kinky people living next door to them, and that kinky people can be authentic in themselves with their vanilla neighbors each day, every week. People just need a home and this will be their home away from home in vanillaland with kinky people getting kinky with our guests, who will be community leaders, showing how to get kinky in a vanilla world of kinky people.”

Thank you Mistress Mandy. Thank you. Truly words of wisdom.

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