BDSM Man Confesses “Not Leather, I Just Hate Cows”

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PROVO, MAINE

Tim McCray, 43, has come forward with a statement at this year’s annual gathering of Masters and Slaves.

“I cannot hide it any longer,” his statement read, “I have never enjoyed the practice of BDSM or the Master/slave lifestyle.  The fact of the matter is, I genuinely and deeply hate cows.  I was raised on a farm and was forced to milk them daily often resulting in uncomfortable confrontations and awkward moments.”

Friends and family were shocked by the revelation, but news has spread across multiple website, blogs, and social media networks.

McCray is finding support both from within the fetish community as well as from FFA, the Future Farmers of America.

“Like McCray, we hate cows too,” said Kevin Smitty, 19, Provo Liaison for the FFA.  “They smell bad and they are stupid.  I can’t wait to eat them and sell their hides.”

According to some, hatred for cows may be responsible for as many as 40% of the BDSM population declaring themselves to be “leather.”

“It’s widespread and it really needs to stop,” said Sheela Kane, spokesperson for Maine’s chapter of PETA.  “We find it bovine-ist and an affront to all of God’s creatures.”

Photo credit: j.d. welch CC: NC SA

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