BDSM Man Disappointed by Power Animal Assignment

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PLANO, VERMONT

Kevin “Diablo” Jones demanded a refund after attending Master Kip Cordle’s class “Finding, Embracing and Unleashing Your Power Animal,” at his local dungeon.

The course, which was a five hour workshop designed to help dominants find what Cordle calls your “spiritual and astral connection to the animal world,” is designed to get BDSM enthusiasts in touch with their primal nature.

According to Jones, the process left him feeling “ripped off” and “discouraged.” Jones’s animal was identified as a “3 toed sloth,” hardly a symbol of dominance or power.

Cordle says he checked the test results three times and even encouraged Jones to take the test again. Each time the results came back 95% to 97% “3 Toed Sloth.”

“Everyone else was getting things like Dragon, Bear, Tiger, Eagle or Hawk. I was the only one with a stupid power animal,” Jones complained.

Jones was given a full refund, but according to some, the results seemed accurate. Jones’s former partner and slave Sally Compert, 28, said that Jones was a “lazy ass motherfucker” who “couldn’t be bothered to shower most days and is the kind of guy who will watch whatever is on the TV rather than bothering to even look for the remote to change the channel.”

Even Jones’s mother commented. “He’s always been a disappointment to me. I think sloth sounds about right.”

Photo credit: Pierre Pouliquin CC: NC

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