LEXINGTON, KENTUCKY
At a meeting of the Abnormal Sexuality group of the American Psychological Association, a panel of researchers named bestiality as the “worst fetish” to have, narrowly eclipsing “pedophilia” and “autoerotic asphyxiation.” In a somewhat surprising turn, the group declared necrophilia, the practice of having sex with corpses, to be “not that bad” and coprophilia, the use of feces and excrement for sexual gratification to be “disgusting but ultimately harmless.”
“It really came down to consent for us,” Dr. Michelle Samuelson told The Daily Flogger. “Animals can’t say no and you can talk kids into just about anything.”
“We tried not to let our personal revulsion for these sick freaks enter into the decision,” said Dr. Martin Jones, “no matter how foul, revolting or disgusting these people are, we had to remain objective and not let their subhuman and shameful perversions influence us.”
The sole dissent came from Dr. Kimberly Purchase, who fought hard to get an exclusion for dogs in the bestiality category, saying “I mean how is it nonconsensual if they like it and initiate it. For example of you handcuff yourself to the bed with your legs tied wide open and the dog just happens to start licking you? How is that nonconsensual?”
Purchase was outvoted on the issue and told The Daily Flogger the example was “completely hypothetical.”
