Dear Annie: Polyamory

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Dear Annie:

My Master and Owner would like to add a 3rd to our relationship. I am uncomfortable with another joining us but whenever I bring up the topic, he says I have no say in the matter and he will make whatever decision he wants.

Please help!

Monogamous in Minnesota

Dear Monogamous,

It isn’t as bad as it sounds. 99% of all poly relationships fail almost immediately, just make sure you are well positioned to be number one when the shit hits the fan. If you want to speed things up, find out what triggers jealousy and resentment in the new girl (or guy) and make sure to push those buttons early and often.

Encourage your Master to explore and find a third (you can even offer to help), that way he won’t believe you are the one sabotaging everything. There is simply no upside about being honest about your feelings. Bottle them up and use the rage you feel to be creative in destroying whoever makes the tragic decision to join your family.

Good luck. And remember, poly is just monogamy waiting to happen.

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