My master insists that I refer to his penis in metric terms (he thinks it makes it sound better to say 5 cm or 50 millimeters). But I am afraid if I keep doing it, people will think I am Canadian (or worse). It has spilled over into other areas of my life as well. Yesterday, I referred to the speed limit in kilometers per hour. Help!
Not Canadian in Norfolk
Dear Not Canadian,
I can understand your misgivings about being confused with our neighbors to the north. Being Canadian makes people think you are polite and don’t mind the cold. If you are like me, neither of those things are true.
What is true, however, is that Canadian men have tiny penises. You may want to consider making a move up North. Your master will certainly feel more at home!