Human Puppy Implicated in Rash of Attacks on Postal Workers

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YERT, IOWA

Police arrived at 234 S. Main St. at 5:35 am to arrest Kevin Compson, 34, as a suspect in attacks on 4 postal workers in the Yert, Iowa area.

The attacks have involved a man dressed as a dog growling, snarling and ultimately biting the ankles and calves of the letter carriers.

Compson refused to comment, but a lawyer for the family released a statement indicating that Compson was indeed “puppy identified, but had no role in these awful attacks.”

The Compson camp believes they are being framed by Marty King, 38, Compson’s chief competitor in the Daddy/Pup Leather title, which will be awarded later this year.

“It is an underhanded effort to smear my client’s exemplary performance in puppy play. ¬†We are pursuing this matter as slander as well as looking into finding out who is responsible for the actual attacks.”

King, we think, denied any involvement, simply responding to our questions with growls and snarls.

Photo credit: Quinn Dombrowski CC: SA

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