New Business Offers “Hat Rentals” at Local Dungeon

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Lutherville, Maryland

Enterprising entrepreneur Winston Einstein, 19, has come up with a new solution to the issue of two controversies. “I found people questioning how I could possibly call myself a master at the age of 19. At the same time, I was reading that someone couldn’t be a master until they were officially given a cap. I combined the two and I am making a fortune!”

Einstein now rents muir caps to participants at his local dungeon. Upon arrival they sign an agreement to abide by a certain code of conduct, pay a fee and Einstein conducts a brief ceremony and puts a hat on their head giving the the title and rank of Master for 4, 6 or 8 hours, depending on the fee.

“It changes everything,” Grant Bullwicker,20, told The Daily Flogger, “suddenly you know stuff and stuff because of the hat. If anyone says you aren’t a true Master you can point at the hat. I usually add, “maybe YOU aren’t a true master” and leave it at that.”

Einstein says he is on track to make a six figure salary from his business this year. “A lot of women are reading those 50 Shades books, so there are a lot of horny young guys who need instant credibility. I can give that to them, 4 hours at a time.”

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