Master Jack, proprietor of a local Bristol Dungeon, is at a loss today to explain how a scene at his fashionable play space got so out of control.
Not realizing that the dungeon had a large store of malt, Slappy Jack, a 55 year old dominant male, brought a rat to the dungeon to “scare and alarm” his submissive partner. The rat, smelling the malt, wriggled and squirmed free of Slappy Jack’s grasp, running off and gorging itself on malt.
When no one was able to capture the elusive rat, dungeon monitors decided to bring in a cat to kill the rat that ate the malt in Master Jack’s dungeon. Further confrontation occurred between dungeon denizens when a local dog began to bark at the cat, driving it back into a recess. The cat refused to come out, looking worried and afraid.
Things began to go amiss when a local submissive pointed out that the dog had worried the cat that killed the rat that ate the malt in Master Jack’s dungeon.
At that point Slappy Jack and Master Jack agreed that they would forgo all other characters in the traditional nursery rhyme and move directly to a “great white shark” which would hunt and kill everything in the dungeon.
“Enough of this bullshit,” said the dungeon owner, “I’m getting me a fucking shark.”
The dungeon took up a small collection to pay for a boat rental, guide, and sufficient chum to attract a large man-eating shark.
As of this report, Slappy Jack and seven other dominants had been at sea for 4 days, without a shark sighting. Determined to rid the dungeon of all uninvted guests, both human and animal, Slappy Jack has vowed to “bring back a killer shark or to die trying.”
While some local participants remained at the play space, most fled the dungeon. Mark White, a local male submissive, said he was “concerned” about possibly being eaten by a shark. “I love my kink, but if they bring in a shark it’s just not worth it.”