Trump Aide Releases Statement on Dominatrix Candidate

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After remaining silent about Mistress Tara Indiana’s bid for the Presidency, Trigger McKnowlty, an aide who describes himself as “close to Trump, very close to Trump. In fact, there are few people closer,” said he has been tasked with responding to Ms. Indiana’s criticisms of Trump and specifically her campaign to send thousands of tiny dildos to Trump as part of a “small penis humiliation campaign.”

McKnowlty did not comment on the campaign directly, but released a brief transcript of Trump’s recent remarks:

“First off let me say, the woman is a dominatrix. Very low class. Very low class. I am hearing things about her. It turns out Tara Indiana is not from Indiana. She’s from Los Angeles. The people in Los Angeles love me by the way. Very good people there. Well not all of them. Not the Latinos and the dominatrixes. But mostly good people. She thinks she is going to win this election. Her chances are zero. You know why? Because her name sounds like terror. Tara. Terror. No one is going to vote for terror. Bad marketing. The worst.”

When asked about the small penis humiliation issue, McKnowlty claimed to not know anything about it. He did however offer to make himself available for a private two to three hour explanation with Miss Indiana. “It would, of course, be purely informational,” McKnowlty added.

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  1. Re.: The ending paragraph, and a, ahem!… “2/3 hour explanation.

    “It would, of course, he purely informational,” McKnowlty added.
    Now:
    “…BE purely informational” is what was meant, of course!

    However, what is NOT known is…
    “Would it be on, or off, the record?” !!

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