Dear Annie: New Glasses Cause Big Problems

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Dear Annie,

I am a slave in a three year TPE relationship.  I have just returned from a visit to the eye doctor who fitted me with brand new glasses.  I had no idea what I had been missing!  The only problem now is what I look at Master, I can actually see his face and it turns out he is a terribly unattractive man (pictures attached).  When we started dating he was a blurry blob.  Now with my new glasses I can see what a hideous and foul specimen he is.  I mean, part ape, part downs syndrome.  He doesn’t have all his teeth either.  I am not sure how I missed any of this!  

Help me Annie!  What do I do?

Was Blind, Now I See in Sarasota

 Dear Sarasota,

I was going to chastise you for being superficial and tell you that you should be ashamed of yourself.  Then I looked at the picture you sent and I really couldn’t bring myself to do it.  You were generous in your assessment.  I am not even sure that thing is human.

Unfortunately, I can’t advise you to drop him either.  When I looked at the picture of the two of you together, I could easily see how he could write exactly the same letter you did.

It appears you are made for each other.  I take it you haven’t looked in the mirror with your new glasses on yet.  When you do, remember this number 1-800-273-8255.  It is the national suicide prevention hotline, I think you are going to need it.

I am already feeling the need to cleanse my eyes with bleach.

The only advice I have is that you perform a ritual blinding of each other.  Even though what you have seen can’t be unseen, it will pass with time.  Until then, I recommend blindfolds, 24/7.

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