Ask Annie: Punishment

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Dear Annie,

I am currently in a long term BDSM relationship with a wonderful man. When it comes to punishment, however, he never sticks to our agreements. I often find myself craving discipline, but he rarely provides it.

How can I get him to put me over his knee and swat my ass when I am a bad girl?

Frustrated in Florida

Dear Frustrated,

In these situations, a lot of people would recommend something simple and direct, like “communication.” But if he isn’t willing to smack you around, he probably isn’t going to want to talk about it either.

My advice is simple: Act out. Creating an escalating series of actions which are so hostile, stupid, and destructive that he will have no choice but to punish you.

Try ordering a few thousand dollars of clothes on his credit card or scratch a message on his car door with a key.

If that doesn’t do the trick, you can always fall back on having a conversation about it. I just don’t recommend that as a starting place.

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