NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA
A bayou woman is upset today after undergoing a two hour procedure which resulted in a botched tattoo. Susan Kimstrick, 24, wanted to celebrate the anniversary of her collaring to her husband and owner Master Bob Bricksman. The tattoo, which was supposed to read “PROPERTY OF BOB” was instead inked as “PORPERTY OF OOB,” largely the result of Inkmaster “Trich” Holloway’s dyslexia.
Holloway told The Daily Flogger, “I don’t usually like to do lettering, I am much better with patterns. Letters always throw me for a loop. I tried to tell her, but she was dead set on getting the guy’s name tattooed on her.”
Kimstrick was furious. “Now what am I going to do? I don’t know anyone named Oob and I have no idea what porperty is. Now I am going to have to erase this and start over.”
When Kimstrick was informed of the permanent nature of tattoos, she became hysterical.
“They need to warn you about this. Permanent? I’m not even looking to stay in this relationship for more than four or five years. I guess I’ll be on the look out for my Oob now. It’s sad really. This was supposed to be a happy thing, not something that would break us up. I always imagined it would be him cheating on me that doomed our relationship, not a tattoo.”
Bricksman has hired attorney Jack Creighton, a specialist in tattoo negligence claims, who described his case as “air tight.”
“It is really sad when you see this kind of thing,” Creighton told us, “for a lot of people it can lead to heartache. I am hoping we can prevent that this time with a nice big cash settlement.”