Florida Man Ridiculed at BDSM Event

KEY WEST, FLORIDA

A Florida man found himself on the outs while attending “Beyond Kink XXVI: Pansexual Parade.”

Herman Pettigraw, 57, says he misunderstood the mission and scope of the event.  “Ever since I saw Bill Murray in Stripes give that girl the “Aunt Jamima treatment” I have been obsessed with kitchen implements, stoves, ovens, pots, and especially, pans.  When I saw a pan sexual conference, I became extremely aroused and knew I had to be there.”

Pettigraw almost immediately found himself an outsider.  “At first people thought I was joking.  They were all wearing leather and carrying whips and rope.  All I had was my American Metalcraft 6 Pan baking set and a couple of antique German Bundt cake pans.  I felt like I didn’t belong.”

Master Bigalow, the conference organizer told The Daily Flogger that “Mr. Pettigraw seemed to have a very different understanding of what the conference was about.  We offered him a full refund and he refused.  He wanted to talk to people about baking, different types of yeast, and how to bake breads and cakes.  It wasn’t really a fetish, it seemed like more of a hobby.”

When Pettigraw was asked to leave, things got contentious.

“I am not proud of my behavior,” slave judy mullencamp said “but he kept talking about baking a cake at 675 degrees.  You can’t do that!  No one can.  He’s not even a real baker.  You have to be able to do more than just buy expensive kitchen wear to bake a good cake.  He just didn’t get it. Besides, this is a BDSM and fetish conference.”

Pettigraw called the group “intolerant.”  “So I love to bake,” he explained, “so sue me.  Everyone has a different kink and mine happens to be in the kitchen.  They really need to change the name.   I can’t be the first person to make this mistake.”