Man Foils Alien Invasion with BDSM Paradox

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BILLINGS, MONTANA

While many doubt the existence of UFOs or extraterrestrial life, retired Col. Nugget McFadden has a tale to tell that just might convince people otherwise.  McFadden was employed for almost a decade at the military base in Southern Nevada, commonly known as Area 51.  He described his job as being “on the front lines” and “in contact with many alien life forms.”

The most threatening and dangerous he told The Daily Flogger is a race of machines known only as the Trilobots, creatures who exist in a state of pure binary logic.

“Talks had broken down over some miscommunication over a ham sandwich,” McFadden remembers, “and the Trilobots had broken off all communication.  It was at that point I remembered a conversation from a local MAsT meeting where we were discussing tolerance and kinks.”

McFadden asked for one last request to the alien invaders, fearing that war and the probable extermination of all human life was imminent.

“If you believe that all kinks are OK, then what do you say to someone who’s kink is telling other people that their kink is not OK?”

The machine leader stuttered and then moved into what appeared to be an infinite loop.

“We short circuited its logic mechanisms, causing the entire race to go into a kind of sleep mode by showing them a logical paradox.  We humans are pretty good at pretending like those things don’t exist, but the machines couldn’t just do that.”

McFadden thinks he may have saved all of humanity based on a lesson he learned from the BDSM world.  “Tolerance can be a weapon if you use it just right,” he told The Daily Flogger.  Still, McFadden says he can’t take the credit for the idea, “I actually remembered it from an old Star Trek episode.  I was amazed it actually worked.”

The Air Force and the US Government deny the event and the existence of aliens.  They described McFadden as “a brave and patriotic American who has probably lost his mind.”

photo credit: ellenmac11 (cc)

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