Researchers Discover Origins of Term “Rope Bunny”

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BERLIN, MISSOURI

Researchers at the University of Cairo have discovered the earliest known record of BDSM-related human activity.

The group, led by Professor Ammon Kamazu of the University’s newly created Archives Project, has discovered what is being called the “Rosetta Stone of human sexuality,” in a recent archeological dig.

Of particular note was the juxtaposition of three new hieroglyphical images which translated to “young,” “rabbit,” and “tied up.”

Dr. Shannon Gureck, a junior researcher on the team, says that his “definitively marks the first time we have seen the term ‘rope bunny’ used as a part of early BDSM activity.”

The discovery sets to rest decades of debate over when and where the term originated.

“For years people thought it was an American expression or somehow derived from Playboy’s use of the term ‘bunny’ for their models and club hostesses,” Kamazu told The Daily Flogger, “It appears that the term rope bunny may actually predate most of Western civilization and started with cuneiform, in this case dating to about 2000 BCE.”

Gureck added “The fact that we see it written so long ago doesn’t mean it wasn’t in use even earlier, possibly as part of an oral culture that preceded the original writing system. Either way, it is still an exciting find.”

Although the work of translating this ancient artifact are still in the earliest stages, Kamazu said their are promising signs of at least three other modern day BDSM terms. “We are pretty sure we have found the symbols for ‘munch’ and for the universal prohibitions against flogging near the kidneys and neck rope. It is a very exciting time.”

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