51st Shade Found; E.L. James “Embarrassed”

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Los Angeles, March 10, 2014

50 Shades of Grey author E.L. James is, in her own words, “feeling embarrassed” by recent revelations by researchers at Sydney University that they have found what appears to be a 51st shade of grey.  The research, conducted over a 3 year period, opens the possibility that there may be, in fact, many more shades of grey out there waiting to be discovered.

While most view this as a tremendous blow to the best selling trilogy, New York publication giant Vintage is standing behind their author.  In a release made this morning Vintage wrote “The jury is still out on just how many shades there are.  There are unresolved questions about hue, luminance and even lighting conditions.  The scientific community remains divided and we stand behind Ms. James and her bestselling books.”

The research report, published in the scientific journal Nature, seems undisputable.  The authors “checked and rechecked” their results and even had someone else look at them.

Dr. Martin St. Martin “couldn’t believe his eyes” he wrote, “we knew when the 50th shade popped up and there was still another shade left that there was going to be at least one more.  And that is when we found it, the 51st shade.”

Amidst reports of halting production and even recalls from chain outlets, the publisher remains firmly behind James.

James claims to have found most of her research on “BBDS or BSDM or whatever they call it” on the Internet, which she described as “a magic box which can take to you far away and imaginary places.”  Explaining her research methods, she told reporters “My source was always quite clear on the number of shades.  I did extensive research and the number that always came back was 50.”

James did share her contact, known only by the online moniker IAMURDOMINATE247.  All requests for interviews or information were met with a cryptic and coded response:  “a/s/l?”

Jamie Dornan, scheduled to play the novel’s male lead Christian Grey in the upcoming film adaptation said “Book?  There’s a book?  Whoa.  Cool!”

In the face of all the controversy, E.L. James is still able to maintain a sense of humor.  “Well,” she said in a phone interview Monday, “it looks like I have the title for my next book!  Either way,” she continued, “30 million women out there weren’t masturbating to the title, if you know what I mean.  And I am very rich now.  Very, very rich.”

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