I am been reading a lot these days about “Consent Violations.” Touching without permission, unwanted hugs, poor negotiations, and downright invasive behavior.
Well, I am here to tell you that you are doing it wrong.
I’ve been around a while. Longer than most. I have seen it all and I know a lot.
When I started in the lifestyle, consent violations were a lot different. For starters, you didn’t just “violate consent,” you had to be vetted. Someone had to know who you were, invite you to a party, and then you would get your chance.
If it was just an “unwanted hug” or a rude comment that was probably not enough to get you invited back. For us, back in the day, unwanted touching was a minimum. Some of the legends like “Mount Rushmore Mike” or “Creepy Kevin” could violate the consent of seven or eight people a night. It was exhausting work, but there were standards.
And another thing. Consent violators always started out as consent violation victims. You got your consent violated for a long time, started at the bottom, and you worked your way up. Once you paid your dues getting violated, only then did start violating other peoples’ consent.
We brought the new people in. We taught them. We passed on what we knew. That was the true Old Guard.
Our consent violations were bigger. Better.
So the next time you want to brag about how many people you make uncomfortable or people want to ban you from events, you need to check yourself.