LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA
A Los Angeles woman got a surprise in the mail Monday when her Ancestry.com DNA test results were delivered. Slave veronica had sent in her sample more than a month ago and says she had forgotten about the results. When she opened the letter she expected to see traces of German, Irish, and Russian DNA in her genetic makeup, but was shocked to find that she scored “12% Bovine.”
Confused by the report, she immediately called both Ancestry.com’s testing department and the DNA facilities at UCLA. Both confirmed that the results were unusual, but accurate. A spokesperson for Ancestry.com told The Daily Flogger, that they had never seen anything like this before, but the results were checked over a dozen times and sent out for independent verification. “The woman is part cow,” Martin Halibut, spokescientist for the genealogy web site said, ” there is no way around it.”
People close to slave veronica say the findings make sense. “She has always told us she was more ‘leather’ than anyone and now I guess the science bears that out. It also explains the cud chewing and grass eating.”
The part bovine slave laughed off her master’s suggestion that she be branded and given a heavy nose ring.
“It is definitely going to change things,” her master said, “most of all I am really looking forward to milking this in the Leather world. I mean that literally. I am going to start milking her.”