Commentary: Me

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You may be in a leather family, a rope performer, a conference presenter or attendee, it doesn’t really matter, because once I let you in on a small fact, this whole BDSM thing is going to start making a whole lot of sense.

It’s about me.

That’s right, BDSM is about me, “The Chopper.”

There is nothing in the world of BDSM that can’t be understood from that perspective. For example, there are only two types of conferences: the ones I go to and the ones I don’t. Pro Tip: If you need to make small talk at a conference, you can always use “Hey, you seen Chopper here?” as an opener. Whatever conversation follows is going to be pretty damn interesting.

Even if I do show up, there will be classes I go to and classes I don’t. Most people at the conference will want to know which class is which and what I am doing. I’ve heard it has even been turned into a game and there is some speculation that Vegas is now laying down odds on my attendance.

Sure, I teach classes too. I try to focus on what people really want to know, which is what I think about a particular topic. Anyone can teach you how to flog or tie a rope, but only I can tell you about what The Chopper thinks of flogging or rope bondage.

You can do the same thing. When you teach a class, just try to put yourself in my shoes, say my name a lot, and tell everyone that I am the person you look up to most in the BDSM community. You want a round of applause, jut throw in “I just have to start off by giving a shout out to The Chopper, because without him, there would be no BDSM as we know it.” Just make sure you leave time for the applause, which can be considerable.

See? Now it all makes sense. Just make it about me, and you can’t do it wrong.

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