Hi! Emily here with a review of Gravity, the new movie featuring Sandra Bullock and that guy from Oceans 11-13 and some other people you hear in the radio but never see.
I loved this movie. I loved it so much. So so so much. Why? Because of Sandra Bullock. She is so amazing, so incredibly hot. It was really hard to watch her all stuck out in space and afraid and in peril. I bit off most of my fingernails hoping she would be OK, even though she has never noticed me or ever answered a single one of my letters.
But still, seeing her floating out in space was so hard for me, so very hard. It hurt, deep inside, which, of course made me wet. So wet. The worse her situation got, the more I thought “I wish I could trade places with you Sandy and then you would know I love you and even if I died, slowly, gasping for my last breath of air, it would be me thinking of you.”
Oh and then that guy shows up and he isn’t even real, but I can tell she likes him more than me, even though I am willing to DIE for you Sandy. Die for you!
I never got to see the end, because I got thrown out of the theater for masturbating and screaming “I want to die for you Sandra Bullock.”
No one would tell me if she lives or dies and I can’t stop thinking about her and how much I love and need her and that she doesn’t even know or care if I am even alive.
Rating: 4.5 Stars
About Emily: Emily is The Daily Flogger’s emotionally masochistic film and media critic. Her views are exclusively her own and should not be considered the product of a rational mind. Her reviews usually have little to do with the movie in question but do give a nice glimpse inside the mind of a twisted and tortured soul.